The Ocean

One of my favorite places I like to go to when I need to gather my thoughts is on a rocky setting overlooking the ocean.  It's a small rock but you do have to climb a little bit to get there.  (Dress shoes or flip flops make it difficult to climb.)  I go to the memory of this place when I really need to center.  As I look straight out, all I can see is endless ocean.  Looking towards my right I can see Boston.  Directly to my left is a small beach with smooth tumbled stones.  The waves crash on the shore, and as they return to the sea, the rocks make an awesome sound as they tumble upon each other.  I use all my senses when I think of  this magical place and it is one of my "go to" places when I need to center through meditation.  This place is forever in my mind and I can access it wherever I am.  I no longer need to go there physically to reap the benefits.

Do you have a favorite place or event that you can carry with you in order to bring a sense of calm?  

Meeting Neuroplasticity Head On!

What do gratitude journals, positive affirmations, exercise, good eating habits, being in nature and watching comedies all have in common?  These are but a few  of the ways we can make positive change in our lives through neuroplasticity.  By replacing negative thoughts or behaviors with positive routines,  we can change the neural pathways of our brains for the better. How cool is that?!

The World Health Organization and neuroscientists have dedicated more than a decade to the study of the brain.  Neuroscientists have discovered that the adult brain is not “static” as once believed. It can reorganize itself and change throughout our lives, even as we age.  We have the ability to make change through our environment, thoughts, behaviours and emotions.  The term Neuroplasticity is used to describe this function of the brain.

The following youtube video depicts a basic explanation of neuroplasticity.

Neuroplastic change is individualized and it may take longer for some people to create new pathways. There have been times in my life when positive change has been a struggle for one reason or another. Consistent behavioral change, and practice, is key. Muscle memory has also been a struggle for me especially when trying to learn a new line dance. I could frequently be seen facing the wrong direction when learning a new dance! Now I understand my struggles after learning more about neuroplasticity!  We all learn differently and at our own pace.
How can you meet Neuroplasticity head on?

DR. Lara Boyd explains this process in depth during her TEDx.

The Art of Relationships

There is an art to nurturing relationships and we all do it differently.  Art comes in many different forms and many different styles.  What is appealing to one person may not work for another. The same can be said for how we nurture and maintain relationships.  

Some times in can be a struggle to foster a friendship. Circumstances change, life gets in the way or distance can make things difficult.  It often takes time and planning  to maintain  a quality connection with another.  

My Mom was the best at creating and maintaining connections. She had the largest circle of friends of anyone I ever new.  She celebrated her 60th high school reunion, in our home, with most of her 12 fellow graduates!  She had long time friends that she met when her kids were young.  She met two of her best friends while working at the local college food services. She nurtured relationships from the church, some of which, were like second family.  She always had an open door policy at our home.  No invitation was required to visit!  I wanted to be just like her!

Mom never traveled nor did she spend money (except for food), when she got together with friends.  What she did do-was revel in being in the company of her friends.  They laughed together, shared meals and supported each other in uncertain times.  They were always there for each other.

I think it is fair to say that I have inherited many of my Mom's traits and the art of nurturing relationships is my favorite.  I am not the organizer or planner in my circle of friends.  I've been blessed to have 2 friends in my life who are the planners. One has passed on and one continues to shower those around her with joy and love.  I am the worker bee who tries to help when it comes to more elaborate plans. I try to carry on the tradition of an open door policy! I may struggle with fun ideas and event planning, but I do make the phone calls to get out and walk, or to share a meal. I've even come up with a few travel ideas, one of which was really good and the other-not so good!

I struggle in the "idea department" and I often feel like my friend is always doing the outreach. She comes up with great ideas and makes fun plans.  She knows how to make those closest to her feel very special, right down to the smallest detail. Because of her,  I've marched in 4th of July parades in a number of costumes.  Together we have laughed, cried, raised our children and acted silly.  

I have another friend who has an amazing flair for events.  She knows how to make each gathering special and unique.   Everything she shares with others comes straight from her heart.  She also has a talent for hand writing special notes to her friends. She even makes the card herself which makes it even more special!

Over the years I've learned that we all have our strengths. They just look different, like art in a museum.  That is what makes each one of us special in our own way.  Recognize your talent and share it with those around you.  

Do you think about the relationships in your life?  How are you nurturing them and sharing Spirit? Small gestures or large; unique activities or mundane, it doesn't matter. What is important is the love you share with family and friends

Toasting Friendship!

Is there a person in your life that you think of but haven't seen in a long time?  What are you waiting for?  Make a phone call, send an email or reach out on social media.  Better yet, send a card with a note or write a letter.  Make a date to get together, talk on the phone, face time or skype!  Time passes quickly and you do not want to miss your chance to reconnect.

 I  think of Mom often and I carry her love in my heart.  I am grateful for lessons learned through observation.  She was a great teacher in the Art of Relationships!

Defining Spirit

It's super bowl weekend and the news is filled with team interviews and excitement.  There are week long parties and signs of spirit everywhere.  But what is Spirit?  Some people think of religion when they hear the word.  I work in a school and we celebrate Spirit Week.  I often hear a child described as "spirited" or one who "shows spirit."  I don't think of religion when I hear these descriptions.  So why are some schools afraid to talk about Spirit? I like to embrace another thought.  
A mentor of mine, Dr. Brian Luke Seaward, uses three words to describe Spirit: Relationships, Values and Purpose.  Patriot's quarterback Tom Brady and Coach Belichick both speak of Spirit when going through their grueling interviews.  Both men speak of the importance of relationships when interviewed.  Brady and Belichick describe the significance of family and the values they learned from their parents.
 I have to tell you before I go any further that I am not a huge football fan.  I watch the game and you might call me a "fair weather fan."  What peaked my interest this week was listening to Brady and Belichik during their interviews.  I listened as they answered who their heroes were.  I wasn't surprised by Brady's response but Coach Bill made me listen.  You see, I was shocked to hear him speak about something near and dear to my heart.  He spoke about following your passion and being happy with decisions you make.  It's about doing what makes you happy, not about making someone else happy.
You may not be a Patriot's fan, but check out this very short video.  Coach Belichick is a man of few words, and these are worth listening to.  I often share this sentiment about college and future with the students I see in my office.